Twenty years since your death. I can't imagine what you would be like at 55. You thought you were old at 35, that last summer. You would have been on the front line during Covid, volunteering for extra shifts. You always lived dangerously! The pain of losing you is as strong as ever but I am more able to remember the good times now. Also the funny times and the crazy times too. Yesterday I was remembering walking through Abergavenny market with you, just a few weeks before you died. I wanted to buy you some new socks because those you had were too tight and hurting your ankles. You wouldn't allow me to buy them. You said it wasn't worth spending the money at this stage! You weren't upset - just practical. That was so like you. Although you are no longer here I will always be your loving mum.